“Nothing I Do Is Ever Good Enough”. Here’s What Turned My Life Around
For years, I had an underlying feeling of “I’m not good enough”, that “nothing I do is ever good enough”.
More success doesn’t mean more happiness. I knew this. But I was always chasing to be a better me.
Can you relate?
+ I’d lose weight and it doesn’t matter how much I lost, I still felt like I still needed to weigh less, do more and be better.
+ I’d exercise three times a week but because I’d planned to exercise five times a week, it felt like I failed completely.
+ When I’d succeed at work, I was already dreaming of the next goal. “It’s a step forward but it’s not where I ultimately want to be”. Therefore, it never felt ‘good enough’.
+ I’d see other people’s photos on social media. I knew it was their ‘highlights reel and not ‘real life’, I still couldn’t stop comparing our lives.
+ I’d see another girl walking on the street looking fashionable. Instantly, I’d feel uncool by comparison – like I needed a whole new wardrobe and style.
There were brief moments when I felt like “I’ve got this!” but the feeling of “I am enough” never lasted.
This went on for years. Until recently.
I got it! Instead of waiting to accomplish more, get more done or be better to feel good enough…
I decided that I am enough already.
And it all started to make sense.
Losing weight won’t help you finally love your body.
You don’t need to lose weight before you love your body. ❤️
If you don’t have a healthy body image, it doesn’t matter how much weight you lose, it’ll never feel like enough. You’ll keep chasing and never get to your goal weight.
If you’ve ever thought “nothing I do is ever good enough”…
… you can’t WAIT for a day when you finally love your body. You have to DECIDE to love your body, despite your imperfections, your cellulite, your stretch marks and love handles.
Accepting your body is a choice…. and it’s so worth it because when you do, you’ll naturally take better care of your body.
When you love your body, you will exercise because you want to, not because you have to.
When you love your body, you choose to eat healthier rather than feel restricted or deprived. ‘I have to’ or I ‘should’ becomes ‘I want to’ or I ‘choose’ to.
When you restrict yourself and hate your body, you will feel out of control. But when you love your body, you’ll find you let go of the guilt, stop obsessing over food and you don’t have to start from scratch each Monday.
I decided to love my body – from all angles. I tell you how I got there in this podcast episode: 15 ways I learned to love my body
Getting better grades or promotions won’t make you feel like a success.
You need to make the time to validate your victory. Make an occasion out of it. Crack the bottle of champagne and book in a dinner, a holiday, a day off to celebrate and take stock.
Nowadays, when I have a ‘win’, I do exactly that. I don’t need praise from other people. I pat myself on the back instead.
You can’t wait until you’re perfect or good enough to start.
But what if I’m not good enough for real?!
The first time I went on National TV I was terrified. I didn’t feel ready or good enough.
Still a little terrified but I’m growing into the role. I may not always be perfect but I’m learning quickly.
The ONLY way to get ready enough is to start, and you often won’t feel ready yet. And yes, you may suck in the beginning (you probably will, it’s best to accept that)! But anyone who is great now started off sucking first.
You have to decide that ‘good enough’ IS enough and tell that perfectionist inside your head to sit down and be quiet.
You will only feel good enough when you decide you are.
Models are notoriously the most self-conscious women in the world, even though they are amongst the most beautiful.
You do not need to change anything to be loveable or acceptable. You only have to decide that you are enough right now, as you are.
You are enough.
No one else can give that feeling to you. It’s only yours to take and give to yourself.
Where ever you are sitting right now, is the perfect place to be to start feeling good enough. Take a deep breath in. Breathe out and tell yourself “I am enough”. Repeat it until it starts to feel right.
Because it’s true. You are enough.
My favourite book on this topic is by Cassie Mendoza-Jones and it’s called You are enough. I highly recommend it for some quality holiday reading or a Christmas present! If you loved this post, you’ll love this book.
And if you want a little extra support, sign up for my free 30-day challenge for a better relationship with your body and food.